Too much traffic
I remeber a day with you ten or more years ago. I was told to find a place outside and listen to you. I was the last one to find a place, so my spot was close to the busy road. When I came back and was asked what I heard, I said "I couldn't hear God because of the traffic."
Father, in my life there is so much traffic. It drowns you out. Mostly the traffic of my own busyness and ambition. When will I learn to wait on you? To sit with you? Just to listen, even if I don't hear anything for a while.
If I believed that you are God, I could spend a whole day doing nothing but seeking you and the world would not crumble, and even my life would continue just as I left it. But somehow, I can't seem to find the fortitude to do just that.
Deep in the core of each of us is a struggle that threatens to claim our souls. It will consume us, torture us, break our wills, steal our uniquness, gifting, and value. It's all these strategies we think are so necessary for life. It's this endless and meaningless striving. We trade in co-craftsmanship with you for the crude work of our own hands alone.
Jesus, your Good News suffers from a lack of disciples. People do not believe in you because they see in your people that believing in you makes no difference. We continue along with our strategies for life, happiness, and fulfillment as if there is no you. But every fiber of the world longs for us to participate in you and for you to participate in us. They want us to need you. They are hoping that life is about some great dance of the finite we and the infinite you. They long to see life that flows from something bigger into we who are smaller and produces results that are better than human.
Disciple my soul. O, disciple my soul. I hunger for importance, value, approval, and accomplishment. But do I hunger for you? Since my actions speak in deafening tones, you must break me as a servant, and build me again as your child.
Father, in my life there is so much traffic. It drowns you out. Mostly the traffic of my own busyness and ambition. When will I learn to wait on you? To sit with you? Just to listen, even if I don't hear anything for a while.
If I believed that you are God, I could spend a whole day doing nothing but seeking you and the world would not crumble, and even my life would continue just as I left it. But somehow, I can't seem to find the fortitude to do just that.
Deep in the core of each of us is a struggle that threatens to claim our souls. It will consume us, torture us, break our wills, steal our uniquness, gifting, and value. It's all these strategies we think are so necessary for life. It's this endless and meaningless striving. We trade in co-craftsmanship with you for the crude work of our own hands alone.
Jesus, your Good News suffers from a lack of disciples. People do not believe in you because they see in your people that believing in you makes no difference. We continue along with our strategies for life, happiness, and fulfillment as if there is no you. But every fiber of the world longs for us to participate in you and for you to participate in us. They want us to need you. They are hoping that life is about some great dance of the finite we and the infinite you. They long to see life that flows from something bigger into we who are smaller and produces results that are better than human.
Disciple my soul. O, disciple my soul. I hunger for importance, value, approval, and accomplishment. But do I hunger for you? Since my actions speak in deafening tones, you must break me as a servant, and build me again as your child.
posted by soulster at 12:47 AM
2 Comments:
"you must break me as a servant..."
thats bold brother, bold indeed!
its good to follow this path you are marking for us. i think we have the same heart.
peace
Thanks, Miller. If I need anything right now, it's the pure encouragement that comes from the fellowship of a shared road. I am too tempted to win approval and compete for importance. But on the road of dependence with co-journeyers -- without so much as a purse, staff, or extra sandals -- we all will learn the humility of trust and the providence of grace.
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